The Danger of Unhealed Betrayal
Why do some people heal from betrayal and rebuild their lives, while others stay stuck in pain and resentment for years—or even decades? In this powerful episode, we speak with Dr. Debi Silber, founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation (PBT) Institute, about the three groundbreaking discoveries from her PhD research on betrayal.
Dr. Silber breaks down the specific symptoms of betrayal trauma, explains why time alone doesn’t heal it, and outlines the five predictable stages of healing she’s observed in over 100,000 participants. If you’ve felt like you’re stuck, looping through pain, or numbing out to avoid facing what happened, this conversation is for you.
You’ll walk away with clarity, encouragement, and a path forward—no matter where you are in the healing process.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
⏳ [02:15] – Why betrayal is a different kind of trauma that needs a different healing path
⏳ [04:20] – The symptoms of Post Betrayal Syndrome—and why they linger for decades if unhealed
⏳ [10:45] – What it really means to have “repeat betrayals” or to build emotional walls
⏳ [14:45] – The four reflection questions to know if you’re numbing, avoiding, or stuck
⏳ [20:15] – The five stages of Post Betrayal Transformation—and what to do in each stage
⏳ [32:30] – Why trust can’t be repaired—but it can be rebuilt
⏳ [35:00] – The truth about transformation and what’s possible on the other side of pain
If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it. And don’t forget to leave a review—we’d love to hear how this podcast is supporting your healing journey!
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If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get:
✅ A structured healing roadmap
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About Geoff Steurer:
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.
About Jody Steurer:
Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski.
About Dr. Debi Silber:
Dr. Debi Silber, Founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and National Forgiveness Day (celebrated annually on September 1st), is an award winning speaker, and a 2-time #1 International bestselling author. Her podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that changes how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice) and more, she’s dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most.
The site: https://thepbtinstitute.com
The latest TEDx: “Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome?“: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyqOR69dHiU
TEDx: Stop Sabotaging Yourself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XX30i6nC7ro
The From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast: https://thepbtinstitute.com/podcast/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@debisilber
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/InspireEmpowerTransform
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debisilber/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/debisilber/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/debisilber
The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.
Episode 293
