Transforming fear and conflict in your life - Chad Ford - Episode 75

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About Geoff Steurer:

I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 24 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 12 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children. 

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Podcast Description

Conflict is a normal part of life, but when there has been a serious betrayal of trust and security, working through that conflict can feel impossible. Sometimes it makes sense to stay in the relationship and sometimes its best to part ways. However, we don't always realize it, but we stay connected to those we struggle with even if we're not talking or interacting anymore. We stay connected with our thoughts about them, our resentments, our avoidance, our anger, our fear, and so on. How can we navigate this conflict and find peace regardless of the outcome of the relationship?

In this episode, I interview author and professor Chad Ford, who is an world-renowned expert in conflict resolution. He recently wrote a book called "Dangerous Love" that opened my eyes on how we can better handle our own internal reactions to conflict so we can find peace and solutions. 

Here's what Chad said about the book: "This book is about everything I’ve learned in the last 15 years working as a conflict mediator, professor and researcher trying to understand why I, and others, struggle through conflict and how to solve it. Dangerous Love explains why we struggle with conflict. How we disconnect from the people at the very time we need to be most connected to them. The predictable patterns of justification and conflict escalation that ensue. And most importantly, it gives us a path to let go of fear in the face of conflict."

More on Chad's Background:

After completing a Master’s degree in Conflict Analysis and Resolution from George Mason University and a Juris Doctorate from Georgetown University Law School in 2000, Chad was poised to begin his career as a conflict mediator and facilitator. In 2005 he left his full-time work with ESPN to become the Director of the David O. McKay Center for Intercultural Understanding at BYU-Hawaii.

In Hawaii, Chad created a major and certificate program in intercultural peacebuilding, mediation and facilitation. Chad and his wife Amanda, who teaches courses in family conflict transformation and mindfulness, have worked with thousands of students from over 90 countries in the world. Chad’s work has earned him Professor of the Year honors at BYU-Hawaii and made Intercultural Peacebuilding one of the most popular programs on campus.

Chad’s work has frequently taken him out of the classroom and into conflict zones around the world. He’s made nearly 50 trips to the Middle East and has worked on numerous other conflicts around the world as both a mediator and a facilitator.

Chad has served as a senior consultant, speaker and facilitator for the Arbinger Institute since 2006 — working with governments, NGOs and corporations like Nike and the US Olympic team. He’s also helped Arbinger develop trainings and curriculum on conflict resolution as well as a training guide on reconciliation based on the documentary Beyond Right and Wrong.

The book Dangerous Love weaves Chad’s experiences from those five lives into a deeply personal exploration of how we transform fear and conflict. Chad’s work with young people in the classroom, athletes on the basketball court, struggling families in the living room, executives in the boardroom, and divided communities in some of the most challenging conflicts in the world gives him a unique perspective and voice to the conflicts that plague our families, our organizations and the world.

Link to Chad's Website: https://dangerouslovebook.com

The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.